S H A T T E R E D
by Cookie-the-Rookie
Summary: /losing what was found, a world so hollow./ Byakuya finally allows himself to mourn his wife's death. Songfic.


(song by Trading Yesterday)

For the first time, Byakuya allowed himself to mourn.

"_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding. _

_Fall into your sunlight. _

_The future's open wide, beyond believing. _

_To know why, hope dies."_

Byakuya Kuchiki honestly had no idea where the song had come from. He had just been walking home after a busy day of paperwork. His recent promotion to captain of the sixth division brought on a lot of work for him. He had a lot on his mind. To name a few: the recent death of his wife, Hisana, the search for her sister, and the search for lieutenant . He was absolutely exhausted from all the work and just wanted to get home.

"_Losing what was found, a world so hollow. _

_Suspended in a compromise. _

_The silence of this sound, is soon to follow. _

_Somehow, sundown."_

It was late evening, and the sky was the beautiful cross between evening and night. He liked to admire the stars during this time of day. In fact, that had been just what he was doing when the music started.

"_And finding answers. _

_Is forgetting all of the questions we called home. _

_Passing the graves of the unknown."_

The words struck his heart, though he refused to let it show. Since the death of his late-wife he had thrown himself in his work. Crying was a thing to do behind closed doors, not out in the open. He turned, ignoring the stars as he prepared to go home.

"_As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading. _

_Illusions of the sunlight. _

_And a reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting. _

_With love gone, for so long."_

Where was it coming from? He had honestly no idea. But he couldn't help but think of how the words were nearly parallel to his life. Reason was clouding his eyes now, while the splendor he had felt when he broke the rules for the first time and married Hisana was fading. Byakuya unconsciously decided that he would listen to the rest of the song before heading home.

"_And this day's ending. _

_Is the proof of time killing, all the faith I know. _

_Knowing that faith, is all I hold."_

Just like his life. He was losing all his faith, wasn't he?

"_And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand. _

_Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love"_

He felt something wet on his cheek. He brought his hand up to his check? Was that a tear?

"_without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on. _

_But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning."_

He nearly lost himself then. He dragged his body off the path he was standing on and into a garden-like forest at its side. He squeezed himself between a tree, a bush, and tall grass. If you weren't looking for him it would be near impossible to see him in the almost-darkness.

"_Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart. _

_Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent. _

_All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain."_

A cascade of tears came next. Before he knew it he was sobbing. Byakuya Kuchiki, head of the Kuchiki clan, captain of the sixth division, wielder of Senbonzakura, was actually crying his heart out, mourning for his late-wife.

"_All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over. _

_There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones. _

_To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all."_

He tried to be quieter, but he couldn't help himself. Hisana had been his wife! He hated how the counsel had downplayed her death! **So what **if she was from Rukongai? She was a human soul, she deserved to be mourned!

"_And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand. _

_Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on. _

_But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning."_

His wife! His one source of happiness, his pride and joy, gone! Snatched right from under him! She had been fine about a year ago! Then her health suddenly started to deteriorate. Within weeks she was sick, and a few weeks later she was on her deathbed.

"_Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart. _

_Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent. _

_All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain."_

He wept into his hand, his captains haori, his black shinigami uniform. He covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to quiet himself down, but it didn't work. He was still loud. But he couldn't help himself! It wasn't fair! There were so many cruel people that should have died instead of her!

"_All is lost; hope remains, and this war's not over. _

_There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones. _

_To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all."_

Those words struck his heart. He should let his love conquer all. He would, he decided right then. Hisana had been reincarnated into the living world. She was truly in a better place now. He hoped that her new family treated her right. Maybe she would have a sister there too?

"_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding. _

_Fall into your sunlight"._

He stood up and brushed himself off. He fixed his hair and wiped his face. When he was finished there was nearly no trace that he was ever crying that night. Byakuya then started off home.

He was Byakuya Kuchiki, and he would find Hisana's sister and adopt her if it was the last thing he did.


End file.
